My Days (llustration by Melissa Jefferson)
A structural engineer I’m not. My Lego Sears Towers are never as sound as my daughter’s. My Lego bridges miss trusses that even my preschooler had already built into his. Okay, I can admit it. I suck well at stacking colorful plastic pieces. Pirate Pete is more my forte, or shark, or helicopter-caterpillar illustrator on a whim and drive-through illustration request. “Mommy, can you draw me a___ [insert applicable dissident critter]?”
Oh, did I mention that I work? Yada, yada, yada…
“Sure I’ll work Sunday night on that deadline.”
“You need to go to bed, hon, so mommy can study for a professional exam.”
“Sign me up for macaroni salad at next week’s swim meet.”
If you have ever said these things in a single 24-hour period, then you deserve a pat on your back, and someone cutting you some bake-table slack. Poetic pun not intended.
But I have since gotten over myself, worked last Sunday night to meet my Monday deadline, studied exactly 30 minutes before passing out on the sofa, and scribbled the words “macaroni salad” on my palm so I wouldn’t bypass Redner’s en route to my daughter’s next swim meet. There! Don’t I feel accomplished walking into the Y’s lobby with my little pasta bucket! Best of all, I only complaint once (not counting the five other mumbled times) out loud about balancing the juggling act.
Boy, do I make it look easy.
No, I didn’t prepare the macaroni salad from scratch.
That’s where the slack-cutting comes in – a “get out of Betty Crocker expectations free” card. Thank you.
“But where is this going?” you might ask. Back to basics and balance, I might say, if I had time to actually think about it for a moment. Balance. Yes. Those elusive Zen Moments we have all heard of, those fabled instants where we look up from the laptop, Lego table, or laundry basket and decide to go off on a tangent.
My Moment of Zen was sponsored by a lunch ‘n learn seminar at work (free food? awesome!). It was actually a really amazing class about setting goals, improving one’s attitude (ha!), and leading a more balanced life. Shortly after the seminar, I was bursting with eagerness. I became a walking exclamation point, all UPPER CASE, all the time!! And I decided to join a local chapter of a worldwide civic organization to help my community and to define another aspect of myself that didn’t come with a cubicle, Legos, or macaroni salad. Instead, it came with a stuffy backroom at the local fire department, wallpaper that rivaled my age, and kitschy Holiday Inn-worthy oil paintings.
The local chapter’s secretary, bless his heart, greeted me at the door to introduce me to my new adventure. As the guest of honor, newbie, and all around fish out of water, I was seated next to the club’s president, who kindly introduced me to a room full of men roughly 40 years my senior. Okay, let’s say 35, but still. Ah, wait. There was another woman! Before I could look at her for a friendly hello, nod of understanding, or silent plead for a life line, I overheard an announcement about a blue Jetta parked in the wrong spot. Only a newbie could possibly drive a Jetta, park in the wrong spot, or otherwise defy decorum, so I held my head low as I headed out with VW keys in my hands.
Way to make an entrance and exit in five minutes. When I returned, the other woman turned out to be a guest speaker. Great, there goes my buddy.
I couldn’t quite decide if using my inhaler to offset the stale cigarette smoke would be inappropriate during my reluctant buddy’s presentation. So I sucked it up and engaged in polite, wheezing conversations with the president after my new friend concluded her speech and promptly left. How come she knew where to park?
I started daydreaming about a black hole I’d rather be sucked into or a wardrobe portal to my backyard. Somewhere between the drapes, wallpaper, and cliques of lifelong friends, I started to miss my guys at home. Maybe I wasn’t such a lousy Lego builder after all. Maybe the macaroni salad is as much of a contribution outside of my local zip code that I can muster for the time being.
l left, sent a thank you note, and focused on the many plates I had already spinning in the air. I have to admit, they wobble at times, but when I check on my guys at midnight, right before going to bed, I know I have found a pretty good balance.
